I’ve been studying different emotions for years now and I have a pretty good grasp of why they exist and what they show up to help is with. I remember a moment a few months ago when I was feeling afraid because I had received a request that I didn’t know how to respond to.
Sometimes we know exactly what we are feeling and sometimes all we know is that we feel down or upset or agitated. It can be really uncomfortable to have this unknown feeling. It’s like someone or something is spying on us looking over our shoulder or lurking behind our backs. We would feel much better if this stranger would just show its face and look us in the eyes.
Parents today didn’t grow up with the technology that the kids are growing up with today. So in reality, we don’t know what it’s like to be three years old and watching hours of videos. We don’t know what it’s like to be ten and to be fully immersed in a video game. We don’t know what it’s like to be 14 and to be hooked to Instagram or SnapChat.
As we start into a new year, I already have a list of all that I want to accomplish. Projects I want to realise and things I want to experience. And although they are all things that I want to do, the sheer volume of them overwhelms me at times. I could easily start into my year, frantically trying to get off to the best start and immerse myself in my to-do-list. I have learned that this is not a recipe for a year filled with joy.
As a coach I’m often confronted with this question. Can people really change? Clients, especially kids and teens, often ask me whether people really can change. Often they ask this because they are wondering if they themselves can change. Can they really get better at things they are not currently so good at?
We sat around a fire on a cold winters night yesterday celebrating New Years Eve. We, as in my parents, three siblings, all our partners and offspring. There were also some friends around, who would sometimes just stare at our family, almost in disbelief and then smile and say something along the lines of “what a family”.
As I've started thinking of a family of my own, I found myself wondering what is a flourishing family? By that I mean a family where every individual flourishes - reaching their full potential, feeling fulfilled and inspired, feeling authentic and anchored in who they are with a certain unshakable confidence that is not anchored in the ego…
It's one of my big dreams and most important goals in life is to write children's books. For years I have felt drawn to doing this and I'm not sure why. Every now and again I will start and then other things come up and I abandon my little stories again. There is also a little voice that shows up and says, "who do you think you are do write children's books?" But the dream doesn't go away.